My Five Best Friends

This post goes up for my five best friends that I have in my life. Four of them are still with me, have been with me through most of all but one is lost somewhere, may be where he cannot be brought back from. I don’t want to mention their names in here, because all five of them knows who they are.

From every relationship, we end up with a bit of sadness. It’s inevitable. There are friends who stay, friends who depart and friends who betray. And from the last two types, come a feeling that our hearts are inconsolable. I talk about friends, but I refer to lovers as well because for me, a lover is first of all a friend. If we cannot be friends at first, we cannot be really lovers.

• My school time best friend who has been with me for the last 18 years now. With each growing year, our bond is becoming more stronger than ever. We fought, we cried, we hated each other at times, but yes, she's always been there whenever I needed her, to hug me, to give me her shoulder to cry upon, to console me, She's somebody I can share all my  words with, from whats in my mind to whats in my heart. We have traveled two different corners of the world together where I was her family and she was mine. I remember how each time we talk, we begin by laughing and end up with tears and again those smiles full of hope emerge. Our topics change from coke and Pepsi to the meaning to life in no time. Some relationships take time to build. This was one such relationship. We have known each other since kindergarten but we just 'good friends' until high-school. And today we stand where no matter what phase I go through, no matter what phase she goes through, we will be standing by each others sides for sure I know. And it will stay like this all the time, because I do know something that is permanent: it's called the permanence of memory!

• The strongest memory about my friend is his departure. I did not realize fully what was happening until I held him for the last time and I saw him getting inside the car and I knew that after that car, there was a train, a plane and a long time or might be not seeing each other ever again. He was leaving and taking away with him my memories, that time of life we were together having fun, and hope and trust. The tears I shed that day are probably the beginning of my obsession about departures because from that day on, I wanted to keep everything and make it last. It was precisely that day when I started becoming a sort of a person I never used to be.There are relationships so deep in which dreams and expectations mingle that we cannot tell which belong to us and which one to the other person, it was one such relationship. I miss  the bond we shared  and its uniqueness because the good moments we had are unrepeatable in time and space.I  remember all those long  texts  and emails I sent to my friend back then and how happy I was later in life when I found someone to write to. When two introverts meet and they discover they can share their universe, it is an amazing feeling, which cancels all the loneliness .

•  The day I met her, hasn’t been too long, 3 years at most. She wasn’t even my friend. She was a friend's friend. Never did I know she would become such an eternal part of me. From HEY and HELLO it has today grown up to sharing a room in hostel and now when we both are in different cities miles apart, we never forget to catch up on each other each and everyday on calls and Skype. We rarely text each other, calls and Skype have become our only options. Or I guess we ourselves don’t want texting to be an option. There are days we have no topic to talk about but still we call up from far away just to let ourselves know that we miss each other, that yes, we exist, and will always be there for each other.  This was one such relationship that took no time to build up, it just happened, and let me tell you darling, you're the best thing happened to me in Jodhpur. I remember how we talk of every possible topic from  cloth selection to family problems to relationship advises to loving Kapil Sharma to trying new things together to all those random funniest possible thing we can think of!

• He came in at the most unexpected time, although we have been class mates for a while but never noticed each other. But I  guess, he's now the best and the only sensible person I know from where he belongs to. We were 'just' friends until one day, when reality called. And I collapsed, with all the drama passionate people are capable of and he saved me from falling deep down. I have no words to describe people like him, who still  exist. When I lost all of my hopes, all my strength, he believed in me. He never gets tired of listening to my crap, over and over again, for over thousand times now I guess. I know I was annoying him, but he never uttered a word out of frustration. Hes blessed with patience, sympathy and those positive vibes  that has helped me a lot. Even today, when ever I feel low, I think of sharing it with him but then sometimes restrict myself thinking he might be busy , I randomly out of no where get a text from him saying,'Shaily, are you OK?','Do you wanna say something?'. He's someone who understand me without uttering a single word. He has proved himself to be a true friend in need and so a friend in deed.

•  Another friend, when everybody thought of him as a studious  guy, not into friends and stuff, he proved to be such a great friend to me. He adored my writings,  appreciated my views, he knew that there was something inside me bothering me. I found him totally different than what people say about him. Hes super intelligent but on the same note is a very good friend too. Hes silent, not too talkative but an amazing listener,  a person who understands you with all his patience despite  of having a tight schedule from 6 in the morning to 12 at night. Blessed I am to have such people who really care and care enough to get you out of a certain situation and wants to see you happy. He pet named me something that’s totally opposite of who I am, but I guess that’s okay, after all I m not SHY at all!

This is exactly how I feel about the important people in my life. I have moved around several places in my life and have tried to always be in touch with a few close friends that I have.the memories we shared will forever stay with me. No matter how much you do it leaving someone you care deeply about, it is still the hardest thing to have to do. I am very grateful for the the people that have stayed in my life even if there are significant periods of downfall, up rise or time we haven't seen each other, when we meet up its like we never parted.

LOVE is not a one time event, nor it is a phase, if it is there, it is for EVER.

Love is no new term. It has existed since time immemorial. The only difference in today's love and those of the olden times is all about commitment, 

keeping your promises, 

keeping your words, 

trust, 

loyalty, 

respect for ones feelings, 

care and a few more, may be.

Such a small list, but yet the heaviest words, right?

We are a generation who celebrates valentines day with all the excitement, but at times don’t even remember anniversaries and birthdays of our closed ones. Our  'valentine'  changes every year, infact our 'close ones'  list too changes every now and then, without knowing what harm we have done to the previous  ones. We are so much into LET GO and MOVE ON that no human emotion is anymore serious enough to be taken into consideration for us.

But yes, no letting go for someone, who accepts their mistake! 

Revenge is the only Everest one wants to reach at all costs. 

We are unfortunately those who praise beauty of the faces, figures of the body, but forget to look at the heart and the soul that matters the most. We are among those who look for sharp nose, 'killing' eyes, fair complexion, pink and proper shaped lips.

There were times when there was no technology, still long distance relationships survived, but today even though you have hundreds of ways to communicate, your feelings die in no time because from DISTANCE DOESN’T MATTER, it has changed to DISTANCE DOES MATTER. Today, Physical needs are more than ones emotional attachment.  And that is why our love is limited to the skin one wears, color complexion, the body figures, the hairstyles, the near perfect facial features.

Today, red roses are symbols of love, body sprays-merely to attract people to you, makeup to look fake presentable and commitment nowhere to be found!

Promises and words of mouth- the one who  says, forgets, the one to whom made breaks down & regrets.

Just think, what it would feel like only if all those promises and words were kept!! 

We have made our benchmarks so clear and so upright, that even if somebody's  feelings,emotions all get crushed, WE DON’T CARE. We decide compatibility so easily.

Fat and thin doesn’t look good. 

Tall and small doesn’t make up a good match. 

Rich and poor is a poor match. 

We all are imperfect, but we want our partners to be perfect.

Today, when you share your feelings, your loneliness, all that’s in your heart with somebody, you expect them to understand, but they end up making fun of yours around in public.

Dear such people, do you know what does it take to express ones feeling?

Do you know how much courage does it take to cry in front of someone?

Don’t ever forget, experience is something that comes to ALL of us, if not today, then tomorrow, but it definitely comes.  

One mistake today means break up, 

if one of you still loves the same person, its's called NOT BEING PRACTICAL.

If you cry a lot, if you're over emotional, the person will leave you instead of being generous enough to know the reason why you are so, because they get IRRITATED. 

If you do mistakes you need chances, if the other person does a mistake, you are done and you cant get along anymore.

Today we are living in a generation where, those who love truly suffer, those who break others prosper!

If you are fake yourself, do you think you ll attract REAL people in your life?

The new people we meet become more important to us, more important than those who gave everything to you already, all that it takes to make a relationship work.

Read somewhere, you should always be with the one who loves you more, not with the one whom you love more. But the reality is we leave those who love us more, leave those who value us, leave those who have put so much efforts, cause I guess that’s out of fashion and those who do it are considered fools, laughed upon!

If you fall in love with somebody's soul, never does that love die!

Came through this in one of the recent books I read and found it worth sharing!

 Never ignore people who calls you, messages you, because someone will always call or drop you a message if:

They need you.

They value you.

They think there is  some work that  only YOU can do.

They really care.

They miss you.

They love you.

Therefore the next time you disconnect a call, or ignore a message, please ask yourself why that person might be calling you up!

BUT, HOPES ARE STILL ALIVE!

A Life Well Lived!

This  tale is of  two people closest to my heart, my grandparents. My grandpa is 91 and granny 85 and they have been married for 71 years now!  They got married when she was  just 14 and he was 20. He is a lawyer by profession, and is still in practice whereas my granny hasn’t even seen what a school is like. Today we talk of compatibility, like, dislikes, similar thinking, do you think all this existed between them way back? 

My grandfather had spent most of his early years from schooling to studying law, in hostel. He's not only a good lawyer but also is an inventor and has got several of his inventions patented in his name. My grand-mom, is not educated but has proved to be a good homemaker. They both traveled across several cities before settling down where they are today. While grandpa  was busy with his exams in Lahore, Grandma lived alone in Indore. When he came back he opened up a book store in Indore and did all that he could to feed his family. Years passed by, the family increased from two to 7 in number. This called for more hard-work, more time working, less time with family. They finally moved to Bali where grandpa started practicing as a lawyer. There were times when their was no money in the house, times where their was enough for all to eat a two square meal, times where there were a little savings.

 Grandpa always believed in education. Despite of facing all these extremities he managed to make his kids study, study much more than what the time demanded. All this is almost 50 years back, when girls were not even allowed to be out of the house for even a short while, he sent all 3 of his daughters in a distant city to study , living in hostels and made sure they graduated from colleges, their oldest son graduated as an engineer and the youngest one also secured a graduation degree!

They celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary this year.While I was sitting with them on their anniversary eve, grandpa told me in a heavy shaking voice, his eyes filled," we have seen a lot of ups and downs, extreme ones, in our lives, when we first got married we realized our thinking didn’t match, I could speak even in English and she didn’t even know how to read in Hindi. Everyday after my office hours I used to sit next to her and teach her to read, and in no time she could read all the news paper headings, could keep an account of money at home. Our bond, affection made everything work. Those were the days and then today is the day. We cannot live without each other. We didn't had understanding, but we both together developed it. She tried to understand me, I managed to put some effort too, she stood by me through all no matter what I said, what I did and with time we now share a bond where we cannot and we don’t want to live without each other. Life will throw a lot of situations at you, it's all about how you manage them. Money is important for survival, but yes, only survival, real happiness is always based on how you carry your relationships despite of misunderstandings, issues and other problems. Today, when I look back, I see struggle, failures, and so many more situations but with her being on my side, I made it through all and managed to have a very successful life. And see, today here we are still talking care of each others health and medicines." 

My grandpa developed some hearing problems with age whereas my grandma lost almost both her eye-sights. Still, every morning, he reads out loud newspapers to her and other books too, whereas she attends all his phone calls because he cannot hear properly, and then conveys the message to him. Seeing them like this, I too dream of such a relationship in my life. I try to spend at least a few minutes every day  with them. And each time I am with them they have a new story to share with me.

Lucky are those, including me, who get to spend time with their grandparents. For me, they are truly my inspiration, my role models. I have seen them age, seen their health deteriorating, their wrinkles increase, but their will power unshaken. Obviously there may be  times we get annoyed for their behavior, but trust me, their experiences,their self-less love for each other, for us, their real- life stories, their struggle, their wrinkles teach us so much and are of much more worth than any other precious gem!

This is a short story I came across a few days back:

A son asked his father- Dad, what is a successful life?

Father took him to fly a kite.

Son saw his father flying the kite with all his concentration and asked- dad, the kite is not going higher in the sky because of this thread, lets cut if off, so that the kite flies higher.

His dad cut the thread off. The kite went a little more upwards but then started its journey down again and fell down somewhere in the woods.

His dad made him understand-

When we achieve things in life, we often think there are some things that are restricting us, pulling us back, something that is not letting us achieve more, like,

Our house,

Our parents,

People who love us,

Our principles,

Our teachers,

And we feel like leaving them behind, letting them go.

In reality, they are the thread that help us be where we are and where we want to go further. Without these threads, for once you may achieve what ever you want, but later in life, you will loose your balance and fall like that kite.

Therefore, if you want to achieve big things in life and be stable, never let go of these threads in your life. That's when you have a 'successful life'.

Girls' are more than just bodies!

Every day we see news of road side romeos' harassing  girls, making flirtatious comments, making girls feel insecure, embarrassed. Every girl today, have at-least once or more gone through such situations.  Thousands of complaints are lodged in police stations, but all this seems to rise on a super growing speed! Several are 'rejected' for their outer looks, without considering their inner-true-never-dying beauty.Here's a poem  to all such incidents, all such people who engage in such hideous acts, acting as if they're having fun, having a good time. If making someone feel embarrassed, insecure, fearful makes you feel funny, happy or whatever, you're the biggest looser one could ever imagine!

Happy Reading!

Like all others I too have

two eyes ,a nose, two ears,

The only difference is,

in the skin colors.

I never understood

how you categorize someone as ugly,

Is it so important

to be hot and bubbly?

Yes, the shapes

and sizes does differ,

Others see your sisters the same way,

will you prefer?

If those bright beautiful faces,

Force you to leave my hand,

Your love is merely an illusion,

you will one day fear seeing your own face,

when the day ends.

Those comments you pass,

Strike me like a knife, in the soul,

Are Good heart, good soul,

merely important in sayings and playing dramatic roles?

Do you have any idea,

How bad your wordings make me feel,

Today its me, hurt and injured,

Tomorrow some other girl will be kneeled!

You will know the pain, in future,

When your wife and daughter will complain,

And then you will regret 

what you did to others,

Just because they were not YOUR wife and sisters!

Think Before You Drink!

 "The driver is safer when the roads are dry, The roads are safer when the driver is dry! "

Have we ever observed that more the campaigns set in motion in the country and the world opposing alcohol, the more boost there is in its consumption. The more we protest against terrorism, the more oppressive it has become. The more we talk of not smoking, more people have started its consumption.

I know you must be thinking why do I keep writing against alcohol and smoking most of the time. I guess its because I, like all of us, have seen people suffer, seen relationships dissolve,  people die, people hurt, people cry, families who once prospered left with nothing. The choice is completely yours anyways! Beer/wine/alcohol was something meant to keep you warm in countries that are cold. It was meant to be used as a medicine for several purposes such as keeping your body warmer in winters, to be added in cough syrups for treating common cold and cough.

But people have taken it in other sense. Today it is seen as a parent to domestic violence all around the globe.Can anyone please tell me what benefit drinking provides you in such hot and humid cities of India? I don't think Rajasthan is cold enough in months of May and June for you to drink, or Mumbai is cold enough entire year for you to drink  bottles over bottles. But yes, if you live in Leh-Laddakh, Shimla, or  such cold places that are really freezing all year round then you do have a choice!

Let me tell you a few real life stories that I have come across, might give you a small reason NOT to drink anymore.

In a small town lived a family. Father was an addicted drinker. Mother was left with nothing because everything they ever had was sold by her husband. The golden years of life of the couple were in turmoil. The impact of all this on their kids was even worse. This was all almost 30 years back. Lets see what it looks like today:

The children hate their father.

The lady still repents for marrying such a man.

All relationships shattered.

All financial resources finished.

Do you think they're happy ?

A little boy used to see his father drinking, coming home, creating such an haunting environment in the house. The boy saw all this, he decided never to drink when he grows up because he realized what all his father's drinking habit has done to his siblings and his entire family. Today, that boy has grown up, unfortunately despite knowing and experiencing everything, I know he must have tried hard to stay away from all this, but his quest to stay away lost, he got influenced by his company and started drinking.  He now knows very well what all damage is caused to him because of this. There were some other people who cared enough to try to get him out of this but they failed too!

Do you think all this sounds happy?

A women with two kids, husband and in-laws lives in a city. Her husband drinks heavily, beats her, randomly runs away from the house, is found in police stations at times, even on train stations. The women is left with what?

Do you think she's happy? Do you think her kids are having a bright childhood?

There are lacs of more examples to give. If alcohol/wine/beer was so good to consume why do all great  people, all great  institutions, all named NGOs are working against it's consumption?  If we think these people are foolish enough to stand against such things, lemme tell you, we are ignorant enough not to understand the facts and figures even after seeing all the live examples around us! The western countries have already experienced all these and now are on their paths to adopt Indian culture, Indian values, whereas we wise Indians are busy adopting foreign approaches, be it in our eating and drinking habits or handling our relationships, thinking its cool, trendy and more feasible not knowing and ignoring the after-effects!

Making Some Bodies SMILE!!

Lets make "some-bodies" smile today. I know everyone has got an exhausting busy day-night schedules to spare a few minutes! But if you do have a few minutes or if you can try to spare out a few minutes, lets do it!

These are a few situation that I believe we all have gone through, or at least gone through some of these. Whoever comes to your mind reading each line, please copy that line and just convey a single line thanks to them. This would not only make them smile, but can make up their mood, their day, may be make up your relationships too! 

Happy Reading & DOING! 

• Somebody who stood by you when no one else did.
• Somebody who loved you when no body else did.
• Somebody who helped you when no one else did.
• Somebody who  inspired you when  you were in dark.
• Somebody who trusted you when no one else did.
• Somebody who  took a stand for you, when no one else tunrned up.
• Somebody who knew you could do things very well, when the others thought you'll fail.
• Somebody who wiped your tears, when nobody else even saw them.
• Somebody who cried with you, because they understand your problems.
• Somebody who made you laugh, when you didn't even want to smile.
• Somebody who believed in all your words, even if your actions were opposite.
• Somebody who held your hand when you fell.
• Somebody who forced you to write blogs :P
• Soomebody who made you feel wanted, special, when no one else even looked upon you.
• Somebody who accepted all your mistakes, and it still with you. 

We meet people,  spend quality time with them and end up forgetting a lot of them.  Take time today itself,  put aside your ego,  your fights,  and re-unite!  There are a few situation where no matter how much effort you put,  you seem to fail, it shatters you,  breaks you down, but it's all about time! Who feels good not talking or being in touch with those who once meant so much to you!   So, take a few seconds today to put a smile on that special person's face! Not only them,  it will give you internal happiness,  a big relief!   

"Spend time with those, who love you unconditionally,  those are your assets,  they might not give you return in short time, but they are your true investments,  that will yield you lifetime happiness and wealth, guaranteed ."

Repairing Relationships!

Well yes you never fall short of words when you have so much to say, so much to express. What you actually fall short of is the people, the audience you want to connect with, those who hear and those who actually listens.

The new people you meet, may be worth diamonds,

But the old one's are always Gold,

And To carry a diamond you will always need Gold.

While talking to a long lost school time friend last night after an year, I realized, there were complaints on both the sides.

Yes, a lot of changes I could  could feel in him, but there was no change in the relationship we shared years back and how we talked this time after such a long leap.I articulated all the complaints I had from him, and realized there were so many misunderstandings that kept us from talking to each other. I felt good being reconnected to him.  At times, the misunderstandings go far beyond our control and time is all that can get things back to normal. He told me what all has been going on  in his life since a year, I shared things with him too. 

There are times, that forces you to get engaged in things you are not supposed to do, the same happened with him.

Things that he was afraid of or what he considered to be wrong in school times, is what he is totally engaged in  now, as a way out of all the unhappiness and pain he is carrying on in his heart.

Only if we didn't talk, only if we didn't say all that was in our minds and heart, I don't think our friendship would have been saved or be back on track again. I have always believed in saying whatever is there in my heart, even if it hurts, because it lessens the chances of misunderstandings, and keeps your relationships transparent. If there are things I am wrong about or if there is something that I said, hurt you, please come and tell me straightaway, I have no problem apologizing. But yes, speak, do not keep things in your heart, if you care to save your relationships, speak out, be transparent and listen to the other person too.

It's not about promising a perfect relationship or friendship, but I can promise, that if you're trying, I am staying, forever!

In a conversation with another friend a few days back, she told me how she lost her best friend to a misunderstanding created by a third person.

I literally do not understand, why do people believe in third party rumours so easily?

Don't you trust your best friends?

Is your short-time-room-mate you think, more loyal or more truthful to you then your best friend?

C'mon people, give it a thought. Analyse before you take yourself out from any relationship without the other person knowing his fault. Why don't you want to clear things out and re-live your relationships like before, instead, you choose to move out! Wow! If you have complaints, doubts, instead of just keeping all of it in your heart, or gossiping about it with somebody else, forming your own opinions,please discuss it with the person it concerns, you might end up in a perfect relationship again.

There are times, when somebody tells us something, we might take it in another sense and the person who tells it might have meant something else! And this is what mostly creates misunderstandings & ruins all of it. I would really suggest, please, go, talk, and sort things out. Relations are easy to begin, but very hard to maintain until and unless you put in equal efforts, equal loyalty, equal trust. And there's nothing more beautiful in this life I feel, more than the people who form your world, who stays by your side, be it family, friends, partner or whatever name you give it! There are people who will easily let you go but i guess, It's not about who is going to let you go, it's who is going to stop you.

Its better to say 'SORRY' and to Save a Relationship,

Instead of showing 'EGO' and Kill that Relationship !

There are times in life we come across people we know for ages, we realize, they are in constant motion of trying to become what they are actually not.  Their personality says something else and their words the opposite .Their actions are east and words the west. It definitely hurts seeing people you care about so much like that. Its always said, " the perfect drug for a human is another human", but no body's got time to stop, look back and care. I have read in some amazing books by great authors that WE ALL ARE ONE, and then some others books says, WE ALL COME ALONE, GO ALONE. Which one to believe in?  Everybody is busy running their own races, feeding their own-selves and on their way up they miss to realize what all they have lost on their way  to the Everest. But you know what, you can imitate anybody's style, copy their clothes, their money matching status, but you can never ever copy their uniqueness, their creativity. Be yourself, respect and be with those who love you, because that's all what you will be left with in the end.

These are a few best lines I have come across :

You have no idea how hard I've looked

for a gift to bring You.

Nothing seemed right.

What's the point of bringing gold to

the gold mine, or water to the ocean.

Everything I came up with was like

taking spices to the Orient.

It's no good giving my heart and my

soul because you already have these.

So I've brought you a mirror.

Look at yourself and remember me.

~ Rumi