Beauty lies in YOUR eyes!

There's much more attached to the word BEAUTY than just the beauty of facial features, a floral dress, or the white toned skin! All you need is to look beyond the definitions given by others, all you need is to make your own criterion  instead of blindly following those set by others!

A girl who can cry her heart out resting herself in her dad's arm, is anything else more beautiful than that?

What is more beautiful than getting to see someone coincidentally at the end of the day that you've been thinking about all day!

A night, out in the balcony with a cup of your favorite drink and those tiny starts and the cool breeze, anything more beautiful than that?

Those comforting hands of your friend when all you want is being left alone, aren't those beautiful?

A mother of two, begging on the signal, with her new born baby in her arms, isn't that kind of love beautiful?

Beauty lies in the eyes, that have just cried,

It lies in those words that  pour out of the heart that's drunk.

It's hidden in the smile that comes on somebody's face as soon as they hear somebody's name.

Two souls holding hands, whats more beautiful than that internal inexpressible feeling? 

Whats more beautiful than those twinkling eyes of mom and dad on seeing their children after a long-long time.

Anything more beautiful than those unconditional blessings poured upon you by your grandparents?

A night where you get to hear stories by your grandparents of their times-decades ago, what else can be more beautiful than that?

A new born baby, clutching your finger tightly as soon as you put it on his palm, isn't that beautiful?

Shout out to those beautiful  forehead kisses that rank no.1  on the romance scale, over and above any other thing!

A few words of appreciation that can lit up anybody's day, what is more beautiful than that smile that remains on somebody's lips because of you!

 Who said beauty lies in the eyes of beer holder,

It lies in all those eyes that knows no limit and no predefined definitions to the word 'Beauty'!

The 2am Diary Of A Dreamer..

I wonder how it is so easy for people to come, stay for a while and leave.

But then, I question myself asking why is it always me who want them to stay and weave!

I want to tell you how happy you once made me,

With those words and that smile that was only for me be!

If not me, I  want someone else to know how magical your smile is,

And, to feel the way I felt when I was all yours, bee!

Thou you really did hurt me, a lot, it was  all that made me strong and made me thrive.

I don’t know if what was between us was  "LOVE" vibe,

But if it wasn’t,

I hope never to fall in love.

Because of you, I know I'm too fragile and emotional to bear it all above!

I want to remind you of how you shared  things with me and with no other soul,

I want to tell you everything you shared,

Everything you entrusted will always be kept a secret in our secrets' bowl.

All between you and me,

And forever it will that same way be..

Finally, I m sorry for unintentionally pushing you farther,

When I only meant to pull you closer.

I want to remind you of days when I was 'HOME' to you,

On your lonely days and nights, full of feelings old and new!

68 Years Of Life..

8th July 2016, a day that left me and my family in deep grief. We lost our most socially active, always smiling and moreover the lifeline of our family. Today its been a month since he left for heavenly abode. Time flows by real fast and quick, but its still unbelievable that he isn't among us, unbelievable that He isn't sitting in his room in his apartment on the 19th floor, still unbelievable that his voice won't be heard upon the calls. 

Death- the ultimate truth that we call it, is truly unbelievable. How, in less than a fraction of a second somebody who was with us before a few minutes is gone, forever to a place where you can never bring them back from, never see them again, never hear them again, never touch them again. So much unrealistic it all sounds but yes this is the ultimate truth. Too painful to accept and too real to avoid.

 

No doubt we are more happy that he's finally over all the pain that he was going through and wherever he is, we pray he's at a better place but the place he held in our lives is irreplaceable. There was no one like him, and there would be no one like him.

He lived a legendary life. He was no ordinary man. An engineer by profession he was. About 40 years ago he was diagnosed with tumor in his body. Doctors after the surgery stated that he won't be able to live for more than 6 months at most, but he proved them wrong and lived for yet another 4 decades.  He managed to survive all major surgeries that even doctors were not very sure about. He was a man of a very strong will and that is what made him survive, actually, not only survive but live a very happy and ideal life. He was and is and will always be everyone's favorite.

For the past few years, he was completely in bed, couldn’t even turn from one side to another on his own. His physical body no doubt always needed support but totally opposite he was on his inside. I've never seen such a mentally strong and stable person.  Despite undergoing such hardships in life, all we could see on his face was a beautiful smile. No matter how much pain he went through, whensoever anybody would ask him, " how are you feeling?", he replied with his smile, " I'm first class and perfectly fine!". the person seeing him could feel what degree of pain he was going through each and everyday but you could never see it on his face. Despite all this, he was happy and content with his life. It was his daily routine to call all  the family members up and talk to them about how his day went and hear how their day was.

He was always worried about my health. Each time we talked, he would always have new diet plans for me about what to include so that I could put on some weight. Today, when I finally have adopted his diet plans  and gained a significant amount of weight, he isn't around. it was him i wanted to share it first with, but i guess I was too late to make a call. I wish I could tell him how fast I'm recovering and I'm sure no other human would be as happy as him on hearing this. Be it my results, my health, me pursuing Ca, he was the most interested person- on what I was doing with my life and the most happy one too on seeing me clear my exams! I know he wanted to see me become a Ca, and I know he's up there guiding me through all that is going to come.

I still remember when I was small, around 5 years old, he would take me around the city and buy me all the stuff I wanted without telling my parents about it so that they don’t yell at me. He would foremost buy me my favorite Pikwiks and choco rolls and tell me to secretly hide it in my bag! I know I was among his favorites and I never managed to tell him but he was, is  and will always be my favorite.

The life that he lived taught me how to be strong in hard times, taught me to smile when you want to cry the most. He taught me what is the power of your own will. He taught me how to be positive. He taught me how to care for others even when its you who needs the care the most.

Lucky we are to have known a personality like him. Blessed we are to have shared a significant portion of our lives with him. He's no less than a legend. He is our hero, a soul that gave us so much to remember, so much to cherish and so much to learn from. Your presence is always within us. He was a perfect father, a perfect son, a perfect husband, a perfect brother and an amazing human and now our guardian angel.

            WE MISS YOU. REST EASY BADEPAPA! 

The Words Unspoken!

Her eyes full of dreams, gazed into the deep dark sky,

There She found YOU as a gift of universe  to her,

The universe had himself gifted a new universe to SHE,

Out of nowhere-from ME and YOU to now "WE".

None of her cells  know how the time changed

in no time,

From a disheartened person-back to how she was,

to make life rhythm and rhyme!

No more worrying of the future she does,

Being happy and content in the present is- perfect and just!

She knows time changes,

And it definitely will some day to come,

But his presence in the present,

Is best out of all of her this year's presents!

His belief in a super practical life,

And her's in a world full of dreams,

This, completes and ties them together,

Like a cup of coffee with cocoa beans and cream!

No matter where they are a few years from now,

The life they're living right-now,

Is amazing enough to look back a few years from now,

And with eyes closed and flashbacks in mind,

Simply cherish the memories 

and to their own selves whisper "WOW"!

No Longer!

I will not wait for you to regret what you did,

Does the setting sun wait for the stars to arrive?

I do not even expect your sorry or any other explanations,

Does water from the tap stop flowing without anybody turning it off?

I no longer wait for you to regret  those endless calls  that you missed,

Does the moon wait for the night to regret its ending?

I no longer wait for you to wish me good or wish me the best,

Does the soldier going to the war awaits best wishes from anybody?

I will not count upon you for my survival anymore,

Does the rains wait for the farmers to cry out loud?

I no longer  trust your words or actions,

Will you trust a snake that’s  full of venom?

I no longer carry any hatred towards you,

Does a tree not bear any flowers again after a storm has passed?

A year ago!

So today it's been an year "16th July 2015-16th July 2016"! Same day last year while I was occupied making plans with my friends to go around the city of Mumbai, I met with an crackup. An accident such that, made me rest in bed for half a year straight. This year, from this date last year to today has been life changing for me. Be it a year of regaining health, preparing myself for all that is to come, a year of my graduation, a year of lot of adios , a year of some freshly formed relationships, a year of mental and physical recovery, and still a lot more to add on!

From such unsparing pain where I couldn’t sleep for 3 days and nights all at once, to eternal support of family and friends that made me stand back on my feet. 

Where, on day one, 

I could consider and foresee nothing but a gloomy future, a downward sloping career, 

today,

I'm on a notch where no negativity can affect me! This year wasn't easy, but undeniably worth experiencing and worth a thousand lessons and morals!

When we are at a stage where we are emotionally collapsed, when we can contemplate no other way things can work out, we have two flip-sides with us. 

One, either we can go deeper into the circle of depression and disconnect ourselves forever, 

second, try and put genuine efforts to get out of all of it. Thankfully I could be among the second one because of my doctors, my family and my friends!

There were months where doctor had put me on heavy medication, so heavy and extreme that were urgently needed to heal my body but my body refused to accept it and I collapsed,  there were days my emotions  couldn’t be handled by myself or anybody else around, but I'm extremely happy to conclude all of this as my past. No more medications to pay heed to, no more pain, no more those sad, gloomy faces and days and most importantly that I'm back on my feet without any major surgery!

I was never a good book reader. I read books as rare as one or two books a year but this period of one year made me a devoted reader. I guess you really don’t have a lot of options to pass your time with when you are bed ridden for 6 months! I read over 15 books, book that filled me with positivity and self realization books! it made me believe that books really are your best friends! It was during this time, when my dad and my best friend forced me into writing blogs, and it was then that I realized how happy, content and relaxed I feel putting my thoughts into words!

I don’t want to remember all of it as something very painful or something that I will never forget as an accident, instead I will always remember this period as a life transforming. A year that made me a better person, a positive thinker, a 'how to always be happy' person, a 'how to be content with whatever you have' person. I'm happy to have overcome all the things so quick and well because of people around and their support. This wasn’t possible without my family and a few best friends that I have being by my side 24*7 , always ready to talk to me, spend time with me, make me understand things, and most importantly teach me to be positive.

All I can think of and conclude my experience as, is that, a positive mind and a little time and space can heal all your wounds, may be not completely but most of it! What once to me seemed next to impossible is today my reality! I couldn’t ask god for anything else. I'm happy and content with my life, with the people that I have in it, with whatever I'm doing today, and am ready to face all that is to come! Cheers to this beautiful gift of God to us, Life! 

The Third Level

It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone. And, soon, this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red hibiscus and the half-grown mango tree they had planted together, all those would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.She stumbled out of the bed in bustle, running around in the house, as if searching for something, something that has  disappeared, she ran wild across all the rooms, the balcony, the roof,  until she got hit by the wall that reminded her that what she was searching was long lost, was lost in this world full of materialistic humans .

 She opened the entryway of the house, the rays of the sun lightened up the space, but her mind remained glum. She could not take in the desolation that followed after he had departed. His words were banging her ears over and over again, from the love that his lips poured for her to the voice of his laughter that  brightened her day . From his early morning hugs to their late night coffee together. Everything seemed to be in place, those 24 hours, those cups of coffee, those memories, those feelings, what was missing was just one thing, just one, HIM.

He had left her without answers to her questions, in solitary, in this whale size city. Flashbacks of all the promises they made to each other were screening in her mind, wandering around for answers  to those unasked questions, the thought process took her to another level, a level of thought where she herself asked the questions and answered them too. She opened the drawer, dragged a piece of paper and a pen and went on writing carving down all her emotions on a piece of paper..


"You told me I was your lucky charm,
where did that charm disappear all of the sudden?
Did it ever even exist?
I  was the trigger of your heart you always said,
And you shot me with the same trigger in your hand..
You might think you won,
detaching me from your self in search of a better life,
But Have you ever seen a plant bloom and bear flowers for long without its roots and the gardeners care?
The face you changed into,
was as quick as the snake shedding its skin at the end of the season..
I consider myself dead,
because I  cannot deal with these sleepless nights full of your memories  anymore,
Because there are memories I wanted  to cherish all my life with you..
When I thought it wouldn’t work,
You made me believe it would,
And,
When I managed to make myself believe it will work,
You changed your mind!
I have been trying, I have been lying,
I miss you and there's endless crying..
I  have no regrets, infact, I'm  happy that I fought for somebody against all odds,
I know  I failed in reviving the living dead.
But still, I won, because I tried.
I  awaited your arrival from the very time you departed,
 with so many hopes,
It is painful, was and still is,  as the waiting sessions usually are..
But I did..
I wish I  knew you were never going to keep your words,
I  would have not trusted you over and over again..
I  didn’t trust my eyes, but your words..
I  waited long, to be a part of your song,
The same song whose composition you changed.."

 The letter was ready, the envelope was prepared, but she had no address to sent it to, just the name of the person she loved. She went through whatever she wrote for one more time, eyes swelling, tears flowing, a suffocating feeling covering her from all sides, she folded the letter into the envelope again, and slipped it into the drawer.

 "Wake up sweetheart!" a faint manly voice reached her ears. She opened her eyes, it was him, her love. She jumped out of bed, hugged him like never before, weeping as loud and as heavily as she could and whispered in a crying voice," I will never let you go!". "Shh..I am here, with you forever, I am not going anywhere and neither letting you go, relax sweetheart! I think you saw a bad dream", he replied. Holding him even more tight she said," Bad! This was the worst nightmare of my life, I almost died without you". He held her hand, went on his knees and ensured  her," Sweetheart, I promise to stand by you through it all.  I ll make sure our half grown mango tree, grows  with us, together forever. I promise to never let the color of our love fade just like those always deep red hibiscus we planted! You'll never have to spend a single night alone in this bedroom my love! It is you and me both, who have build this up, and we both, together forever with help all this grow. So, my dear lady love, once again would you like to grow old with me?" . She with tears flowing down her cheeks and a smile emerging through the cracks of the lips nodded yes..

'Every meeting is followed by a departure. Some meeting ought to be long enough to cover a lifetime other as short as a couple of seconds of eye contact. Hold on to those you love, hold on to those who love you.Yes there was loss, not one such as visible to others, but loss of those few minutes of happiness, that were covered that nightmare, loss of few minutes into anxiety and suffocation. That nightmare changed her life for better. From that night forth, she lives more happy, loved more deep.'