Hand in hand, we are all here to grow..

I have picked up my pen again today-

since the mind is beyond full already,

Well- lets start this straight and honest-

I am really anxious these days,

Are you too?

Questions and worries have fogged the mind,

In such situation, what do you do?

The thoughts aren't really aligned right now, but I am making a way,

And I know, its all going to be just okay, one fine day.

Do you too, wake up feeling tired and sad?

You don't want to get out, neither want to stay in bed.

Where some days are so smooth, some are so hard to even begin,

Even the smallest of inconveniences, before you know- takes your mind for a spin.

Thinking to myself-

Why are the negative thoughts so easy to occupy and the positive ones so difficult to entertain,

When you know,your entire physical and mental health, they drain.

I want you to know-

This isn't forever and that everything eventually works out,

It's just that some days you cry, some days you write, some you smile and sometimes you just wanna shout out loud.

Your journey might be different than mine,

But no one can stop you from having the life you want and shine.

Don't let your mind tell you otherwise,

You have to write your own happy story and beyond it, rise.

I know it is hard, harder than we think,

But trust me, there is a break through, you're right at the brink.

One day at a time, one hobby at a time,

Try it, it works and wouldn't cost you a dime.

You are desperate for help, but the mind wouldn't let you take a step towards healing,

But think to yourself how bad you want to feel all those good feelings?

So pick that pen & hold that brush,

All that's holding you down, will be shushed.

The process is slow,

But hand in hand, we are all here to grow.

 

 

'Blues' doesn't always have to be sad.

We usually look at the city we live in with the same lenses but different perspectives. A city inhabits in itself millions of dreams, innumerable aspirations of those living there and those who move there in chase of a better tomorrow. We often come across a place, which redefines our understanding of  'home'.

You meet people, erstwhile strangers, become family. A family not bound by blood but a thousand disparate emotions. When we move to a new place, there is always an uneasiness of what tomorrow would look like, but based on who we meet, our sentiments and insecurities make a shift. 

Sometimes when nostalgia hits you, the lines between 'now and 'then' begins to blur. I have realised that the most authentic way of expressing love, is letters. So here's one for the city I love- Jodhpur.

I came here in search of means to realising a dream. No admiration for you did I carry within me back then. You introduced me to the legendary 'hostel' life. Sharing a room with 4 other girls, believe me as unworkable as it sounds- it is among the best memories of my life. Them, coming in from contrasting cultures, careers and cities, taught me how possible it is to have a family away from home. From having each others shoulder to whine on to driving up to the Stepwell when any one was down and low, sitting there till the dead of the night and digging deep into our philosophical selves. That place has an aura altogether different. You're down in the dumps- just go spend sometime and boom! To me, it has always been a place, where from I go back with nothing but positivity and gratitude. 

There's no street in that city that wasn't explored. No tapri left untested and untasted. Chai pe charcha was never-ending. And there's a different memory that the heart is holding onto with each one of them. Even though I went to all the places with same set of people, we'd always find different things to talk about, to learn from, to trip over and laugh out loud at. 

Visiting new cafes every week just to come back and rant that no matter how fancy it was, The Book Cafe is the best! From the busy bustling Sardarpura to the lush green and calm roads of Shikargarh, from witnessing the sun-rise at 5:45am from Mehrangarh to admiring the reflection of moon in the Kaylana lake, every direction has at-least one such place, where tons of memories were lived. Wednesdays were locked in for Ganesh Tekri, (the view of the city after sunset from that place cannot be missed) and Saturdays were for Pal Balaji and there from DPS dhaba and Mokaaz. Sitting on the rooftop of Dagleys and dining with a mesmerising view couldn't get any better as well. 

Having lived in a few other cities, none, absolutely none of them gives me so much to reminisce about, think of and love about as much as you do. No, not that you were always full of good days, but like I said you were full of life lessons, bitter & sweet- Lessons I'd carry with myself for the rest of my life.

Right when I thought it was time to move on from you, you gave me 'him'. I was then being introduced to a total another side of you. Little did I know I ll fall in love with you all the more. The best things in life comes when you expect them the least. You know how I made scenarios in my mind and let them out to the universe every night before bed, you pushed them to my reality. How can I not love you? 

The 'Jal Vatika' is probably my absolute favourite spot in the city. Standing by the still-water right next to the person I love, gave me hope, paved a way, provided me with a vision and in no time you became our go to place, almost every evening possible. Each stone carved in there, is an inspiration, a piece of history that reminds us where we come from and what we are. And on the other side, stands the magnificent Ummaid Bhawan that is a sight powerful enough to remind us our glorious past.

You have witnessed it all, from my career milestones to depressing days, from butterfly moments to heartbreaks and almost all my firsts. All the major life lessons I learnt were in your precincts. I fell down, you embraced me, I got high, you kept me safe. I stumbled, you gave me another chance. The best part about loving a city is that it never judges you no matter what, it accommodates you, keeps you warm. Thank you Jodhpur for being so kind, for being a teacher, for making me meet the most amazing people I could possibly ask for, for shaping a 17 year old teenager and preparing her for life with constant reality-checks yet keeping the dreams intact & alive.

Until next time.

Yours truly.

Mountains or The Beaches

I drop the curtain, 

And I am high on nature.

And all I conceive is an excursion to the mountains,

If only that excursion favours me living there for life, I would easily sway.

I sight-far yet clear, the summits covered in snow,

The pristine ray of the sun, turning them into magical glitter & gold.

Could this be more magical yet so real?

                                                            

I see verdure & the valley covered with colours,

So much melange, so many variants- the fragrance, ecstasy!

I have a feeling -'I am on the top of the word, looking down on creation-

& the only explanation I can find',

A gratitude filled heart, bowing down to the higher self, for being so kind.

I see 'life', I vouch for peace.

Lying down in open sky makes the 'vision' clear, milky-way now seems a little near.

And then, some 100 meters away there's a chai-wala making tempting Maggi.

Sunsets appear a little too real and infinitely beyond pretty.

The sky is clear than ever. 

In the woods, not too far, I locate a deer.

There's a stream flowing by, with water crystal clear.

How does on earth, this not make you thrilled & happy?

How does your heart not skip a beat & want to live here till the end of time?

Winters are dreamy, summers are perfect-

Wouldn't mind ditching the virtual world & to this get connected.

I’d rather sit on a mountain top- 

and relish the breathtaking views with my people or alone,

Where everything you do is a form of meditation & all the blues begone.

So, let me now ask you- Mountains or the beach?

I'LL.BE.THERE.FOR.YOU.

Dear Monica, when you said,"Welcome to the real world, it sucks. You're gonna love it,"

As much as you were trying to comfort Rachel,

Also you wanted to give her a reality check and keep it neat! 

I could feel you,

Twenty years ago you said something that each one of us agree today,

But most of us keep ourselves sane watching you at-least one episode a day!

Every time you  screamed,' I KNOW!'

We knew you have all the answers needed,

Your OCD kept everyone in check,

Be it Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel or your dad Jack!

How with equal energy you were always ready to be the host,

So here we are, raising you and your cooking skills- a toast!

Dear Joey, ''How you doin'?"

This phrase got every guy out there try it at-least once,

But trust me , no one can ever do it better than you,

Even though it's been 20 years, we're still in love with you,

So not ready anytime soon to bid adieu.

Every-time you screamed at the top of your voice,'' Joey doesn’t share food!"

Your priorities  were evident and super clear,

From being a star in Days of Our Lives to  a falling graph of your career,

You lived in today, did what you love and of the future, had no fear!

Dear Phoebe, remember how you had your own way of running in the park?

No one approved of your ways but you stood by your own self, never afraid of the dark!

When you said,'' I don’t even have a pla.."

Half of the mankind felt you right there,

But even such a big question could not upset you dare!

When Joey said that SANTA doesn’t exist,

it came as a shocker to 27 year old you.

From singing  on a subway station-

''Your love is like a pigeon, crapping on my heart,

To marrying the love of your life Mike on a street with snow-carts!

You made Christmas songs on your friends a few,

But forever will my favorite be-

Smelly Cat, Smellyy Cat, What are they feeding you!

Dear Ross, keeping aside your dinosaur obsession,

you were the most normal one among all six,

It was kind of heartbreaking to see all your 3 marriages fail  without fix!

Your dedication towards each of your relationship,

Your dedication towards your profession & both your-babies,

You were totally worth the keeps!

Even after several margaritas down you were "just fine"

You were whiny but no! not more than Janice did you ever whine!

 "Why do bad things happen to good people?" you said, we did feel for you,

But when you finally got Rachel,

that was every F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan's  dream come true!

Dear Rachel,you were like every other girl in her twenties,

Because not everything is as clear as roses and waterlilies!

When you first realized that you didn’t wanna be a 'shoe' but a 'hat',

Stepping out in the world for the first time is  scary -

but how brave are you to take that step, just like that!

When you acclaimed, "no uterus, no opinion"

You spoke for entire womankind,

You started from scratch & reached the top in line!

You know what made us the happiest?

It was when we heard, "I got off the plane."

Because Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross,

Is a  dream, picture perfect and insane!

Dear Chandler, could you BE more pun-ny & amazing?

You once said, "So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay?"

Well guess what, the entire world is taken over by it, night & day!

"Hi, I am Chandler, I make jokes when I'am uncomfortable",

After getting together with Monica your best version got enabled.

For all those times when Joey and you were not able to decide on things

You resorted to Rock Paper, Scissors,

Whether its asking someone to leave,

a game of Foosball or going out in the snow blizzard.

You never failed to put humor in every situation,

Be it office, Monica's apartment, Central Perk or a duck-chick conversation.

You said that you say more dumb things before 9am than most people say all day,

And each one of them made us laugh our asses off for sure everyday!

I'LL.BE.THERE.FOR.YOU , they sang everyday,

Whether for friendship or love, they did- with each other -stay!

We are, because they are.

To the one in Olive Green-

How brave are you to sign up for this?
Your warrior heart is worthy of all the salute.
The risks you take every other day,
Little do people know of your life,
but your precious ones unceasingly pray.

I sit here shuffling the news like all others,
A little anxious to even accept what's happening,
While you're at the frontiers
Donning that uniform with other brothers.

I try to be brave and not think otherwise,
I'm no warrior like you inside,
But eternally by your side with love and pride!
I can't wrap my arms around you everyday,
But all the wait is worth, like they say!
I sit here by the phone,
Waiting until you're safely home!

While I'm all cranky & fussing-
Over problems too small as compared to yours,
You choose to listen & give me all your attention,
Swimmingly skipping your own without any conditions.

You just won't understand-
Unless you're a soldier or you've been with one,
The odd living conditions while on duty,
and the deeds they've done!
They witness the parts of the countryside &
The way they witness sunset and sunrise,
None of us civilians would ever get to.
When asked,
How are you? Are you sleeping fine? Is the weather too hot?
''All is good, I'm fine.'' are their happy lies & gives us no clue!

If not more, there's one thing I really want to do,
While you take care of those who serve the land,
I will take care of you! 🇮🇳 

Acceptance

I am not perfect and I don’t claim to be.

I have insecurities,

& there are days-

When I don’t think I'm good enough.

Good enough, in the era of Instagram models out numbering the actual models,

In an era where our social media feeds and YouTube

Are filled with 3 step makeover tutorials with-

3 layers of foundation,

Fake eye lashes,

Two shades of contour & concealer.

In the era where "maal"is more commonly addressed to females than drugs.

Where, acceptance on social media by the opposite gender-

brings more happiness & excitement.

But, when will we understand-

all of this comes from 'boys' half grown

Because it takes a 'man'- to understand what's real & what stays.

Not your fault dear boys,

The world's designed that way,

Make up and filters, gym and diets here rule.

But like I said- It takes a man to understand & accept.

An era-

Where majority is racing to cover up their scars,

Take a minute-  stop and think-

Aren't your scars a sign of the battles you've fought & won?

Aren't your scars a sign of how strong you are?

Dear girls,

IT IS OKAY to own your scars,

Layering  them in makeup ain't gonna find you love.

And so,

Please wait. Wait for such love that-

crowns you with the kind of love you never feel the weight of.

Wait, for someone who talks to your heart &

Understands that faces can wear masks.

Work on self, for your self.

Do not 'mend' your self to please the wants of another.

Because when love arrives, it embraces you for who you are,

And stays, forever.

This Holi let us pray that-

Acceptance of the world isn't so important,

No one is afraid to be real & authentic,

Loyalty & Transparency aren't this hard to find.

Our intentions are more pure,

Communication is more honest and polite,

Lies lie at rest,

Respect is not just a word,

Let us try to take care of the little things within us &

The world will take care of itself.

Escape

I'm standing on the roof,

Admiring the color formations in the horizon,

I'm dreaming of an escape,

To the world I've unceasingly mused about.

An escape to find peace,

An escape where my heart is happy,

There's something different in the air at this moment,

It tells me I can do it, 

It tells me I can get through.

I know I've commitments to meet,

I know I cannot leave them behind,

Perhaps just a babyish hope of a better tomorrow is enough for today,

& writing this poem is my escape for the day!

I have an idea,

I know there's no foundation,

A world with a different format-

Where one could go,

To be free from human woe.

A world where there's no shade of fear,

& waking up every AM doesn’t feel so cloudy,

Good art is focused chaos they say,

If only what I paint could be real & stay!

The world is trying to convince me,

That this is the reality of life,

I refuse to give the nod.

My dreamy escape would be a reality one day,

Where I'll have peace of mind,

& happiness will know no words

but just feelings-

it will be one of it's kind!