It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone. And, soon, this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red hibiscus and the half-grown mango tree they had planted together, all those would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.She stumbled out of the bed in bustle, running around in the house, as if searching for something, something that has disappeared, she ran wild across all the rooms, the balcony, the roof, until she got hit by the wall that reminded her that what she was searching was long lost, was lost in this world full of materialistic humans .
She opened the entryway of the house, the rays of the sun lightened up the space, but her mind remained glum. She could not take in the desolation that followed after he had departed. His words were banging her ears over and over again, from the love that his lips poured for her to the voice of his laughter that brightened her day . From his early morning hugs to their late night coffee together. Everything seemed to be in place, those 24 hours, those cups of coffee, those memories, those feelings, what was missing was just one thing, just one, HIM.
He had left her without answers to her questions, in solitary, in this whale size city. Flashbacks of all the promises they made to each other were screening in her mind, wandering around for answers to those unasked questions, the thought process took her to another level, a level of thought where she herself asked the questions and answered them too. She opened the drawer, dragged a piece of paper and a pen and went on writing carving down all her emotions on a piece of paper..
"You told me I was your lucky charm,
where did that charm disappear all of the sudden?
Did it ever even exist?
I was the trigger of your heart you always said,
And you shot me with the same trigger in your hand..
You might think you won,
detaching me from your self in search of a better life,
But Have you ever seen a plant bloom and bear flowers for long without its roots and the gardeners care?
The face you changed into,
was as quick as the snake shedding its skin at the end of the season..
I consider myself dead,
because I cannot deal with these sleepless nights full of your memories anymore,
Because there are memories I wanted to cherish all my life with you..
When I thought it wouldn’t work,
You made me believe it would,
And,
When I managed to make myself believe it will work,
You changed your mind!
I have been trying, I have been lying,
I miss you and there's endless crying..
I have no regrets, infact, I'm happy that I fought for somebody against all odds,
I know I failed in reviving the living dead.
But still, I won, because I tried.
I awaited your arrival from the very time you departed,
with so many hopes,
It is painful, was and still is, as the waiting sessions usually are..
But I did..
I wish I knew you were never going to keep your words,
I would have not trusted you over and over again..
I didn’t trust my eyes, but your words..
I waited long, to be a part of your song,
The same song whose composition you changed.."
The letter was ready, the envelope was prepared, but she had no address to sent it to, just the name of the person she loved. She went through whatever she wrote for one more time, eyes swelling, tears flowing, a suffocating feeling covering her from all sides, she folded the letter into the envelope again, and slipped it into the drawer.
"Wake up sweetheart!" a faint manly voice reached her ears. She opened her eyes, it was him, her love. She jumped out of bed, hugged him like never before, weeping as loud and as heavily as she could and whispered in a crying voice," I will never let you go!". "Shh..I am here, with you forever, I am not going anywhere and neither letting you go, relax sweetheart! I think you saw a bad dream", he replied. Holding him even more tight she said," Bad! This was the worst nightmare of my life, I almost died without you". He held her hand, went on his knees and ensured her," Sweetheart, I promise to stand by you through it all. I ll make sure our half grown mango tree, grows with us, together forever. I promise to never let the color of our love fade just like those always deep red hibiscus we planted! You'll never have to spend a single night alone in this bedroom my love! It is you and me both, who have build this up, and we both, together forever with help all this grow. So, my dear lady love, once again would you like to grow old with me?" . She with tears flowing down her cheeks and a smile emerging through the cracks of the lips nodded yes..
'Every meeting is followed by a departure. Some meeting ought to be long enough to cover a lifetime other as short as a couple of seconds of eye contact. Hold on to those you love, hold on to those who love you.Yes there was loss, not one such as visible to others, but loss of those few minutes of happiness, that were covered that nightmare, loss of few minutes into anxiety and suffocation. That nightmare changed her life for better. From that night forth, she lives more happy, loved more deep.'
