To all that has been, and all that will ever be!

2015 is finally coming to an end! For some, the year would have passed to quick to reconcile everything. For others, it would have been a long tiring year, with ups and down to cope up with every single day! For some it would have been an amazing year, and some wishing a year like this to never turn up again.

For me this year has been a mixture of positive and negative extremities. Unlike every past year, there have been no normal things.  There were moments of either extreme happiness or extreme grief. But I take a few minutes to thank god for all the good, and the bad too, because I know, like I know, like I know, things are going to be perfect again, very soon and tried to put up my year in words:

January-February

A kick start with brother's wedding,

Lost someone very dear to death and tears shedding.

Cleared my papers on the very same day,

A stride ahead in my career's way.

My birth month saw nothing very exciting,

Be it valentines or my birthday, and I turned 19!

March-April-May

Festival of colors was very vivid and bright,

But books for finals were also in sight.

To loiter around with friends in college,

Cramming  those 1-week series  with friends,

A night before exams for lill knowledge.

June

Finally moved to Mumbai for article-ship,

Being introduced to work culture and  new friendships.

Staying with cousins, such a good time I had,

I wasn't homey, never did I felt.

Meeting old "My people", from far flung places,

It was hard bidding adieu to those familiar faces.

The prolonged  "waiting" season finally came to an end,

All the wounds & bruising, in a matter of second it seemed to  mend.

 July-August

Office audits, some work and lot of knowledge,

Meeting bffs' living in hostel, who missed home,was  a solace.

Welcoming a Pal from another state was such a treat,

But met with an accident and had to back home retreat.

Didn't realize it was going to be an injury so serious,

But it seems my plans and that of God had a lot of variance.

It put me in bed for months and not only a few days,

Negativity & Depression covered me in all ways.

September-October-November-December

It was a time where I was supposed to look after my parents, but they were taking care of me,

Those whom I expected to be with me in such a difficult time left and flee.

Some unexpected folks came, held my hand when I could not even stand,

Spurred me, Made me believe in myself, showed me who I really am.

Gods aligned things and situations in such a way,

All my bffs' came in town with me,to recover and stay.

This was the time I discovered who really my people are,

Their mental and emotional support helped me,even though they were too far.

Diwali was  bright, may the lamps illuminate everybodys' lives,

Hope,soon I will recover and 'll be back on my feet and thrive!

Thousands of unfulfilled promises, misunderstandings but a heart full of love is still in place,

When someone promises to be by your side, there are no  hard times such that you together can't face.

May the Santa, the bells, the candles, the Christmas tree, grants everybody their dreams and wish(es),

And 20-Sixteen be full of harmony, love, getting back together with our loved ones and be spent in bliss.

Are we really Intolerant??

Intolerance has been quiet a hot topic these days! There are infinite examples that show how tolerant India and Indians are. Tried to put up some of the basic ones to start with! Happy Reading!

We let ourselves be ruled by a single political party for more than 50 years, where we can clearly see no promises fulfilled and no growth, and people call us "intolerant".

Today we are helplessly seeing a juvenile criminal,charged for rape and brutal murder getting free from punishment, just because of his age whereby tomorrow he'll be freely roaming around, girls will try to hide seeing him around, feel unsecured, and people think we are "intolerant".

We, often times, see people smoking in public, which according to the law, is punishable crime, nobody seems bothered, just putting up big banners and hoarding or giving advertisements in newspapers and television isn't making any significant difference,and people think we are "intolerant".

We see criminals on road, released after punishment, involving in more crimes without any hesitation and fear of law and order, and people think we are "intolerant".

We see politicians making fake promises, we all know the truth, but we still make them take toll on us, govern us, fill their own pockets, engaged in all sorts of activities and they say we are "intolerant".

We see our high end personalities, who give speeches and statements on television supporting "no discrimination", discriminating commoners based on caste, creed and you think we are "intolerant".

We read a lot about equality, speak about equality, huge campaigns are arranged,  but do we ourselves practice it? No matter how educated, rich or modern people are, the basic discrimination we talk about the most- between a girl and a boy still exists! Every single day we see with our own eyes cases of discrimination, be it in schools, on road, in offices, but we move ahead ignoring all that's in the background, and you think we are "intolerant".

We hear about scams every few days, so big, that they can bring down our economy, can cause serious financial and mental injuries to common people and you think we are "intolerant".

We see our leaders and politicians fight like cats on national television, a platform where the world sees them, they represent the masses, we tolerate all this sitting at home, in front of the television and people think we are "intolerant".

We have been waiting for "ache din" to come endlessly, prices of petrol goes down by a few "paisas",and again rise up by "rupees", where thousands of families cannot afford a two square meal because of inflation that CAN be bought down, and those who "DARE" to raise voices are pulled down in seconds, and you think we are "intolerant".

We have lost thousand of lives fighting terrorism. We are in crores, they are in thousands, still they strike us all the time, and we keep waiting for the right moment to fight back!! And you think we are "intolerant".

Judgement for crimes, criminals and cases takes decades to come, and they too at times turn out to be such as releasing the criminals, which serves no justice to the victim families and they say we are "intolerant".

Every few days,we see Doctors going on strikes and patients dying, strikes are more important than lives of people it seems, and people think we are "intolerant".

We see movies being released, many of them making no sense, totally against our society, our culture, spoiling our youth, hitting the box office and making crores and they say we are "intolerant".

We have got so much of raw talent in our country itself in all the fields, but we tend to give outsiders a chance, a break, see youth of our own nation wandering on roads for opportunities and a chance and people say we are "intolerant".

ThanksGiving!

Thanks Giving is already gone, but let today be my thanks giving! We are blessed with this incredible gift in life called feelings and emotions! They are something which are meant to be expressed and not to be suppressed inside! This post goes out for all the people that have been a part of me and my life. Few of those mentioned here are not in touch anymore, but you know what, if you have entered my life even once, even if for a few minutes  or seconds, you will exist forever! Nothing to forget, nothing to let go!

For being a live example of unbreakable bond and love endless,

And for sharing with me, dada-dadi almost a century old experiences.

 Simply for being my mom & dad and complete supporters,

Also my friends,my  inspiration and my motivators.

I have never met anybody like you both ever before,

thank you so much for being my bhai- bhabhi therefore :P (Rajeev bhaiya-Pooja bhabhi)

You never judged me no matter  how I behave and what I did,

Thanks for making me always laugh Shefali and taking in all my shit!

 You taught me the real meaning of friendship and sisterhood,

No matter how sad I am Jaya, you always make up my mood!

Anirudh you came most unexpectedly & and stayed-forever!

A bff like you is a blessing I m letting go never!

You know what you mean to me Ashish, words will never be enough to express,

 Thank you for all the good times  we were together, by gods grace!

 You shaped my life in a way no body else could ever,

 Helped me through everything I needed whenever!

 Rest easy Parinita ma'am, we miss you :(

(My favourite family- Anurag,Arvind,Arjun, Mp,Ashish, Prasann, Swabhi, Sonika,Divya, Sagar, Rozee, Jitendra, Mayank, Yogendra, Yogesh,Anjali, Isha, Garima, Mohita, Gajendra,Manisha, Payal, Captan, Virendra, Siddhi,Chirag, Shefali  )

Memories are all that we have of each other right now,

I love you guys to the moon and back that’s all I want you to know!

Blessed to have siblings like you all,

Who will always be there to catch me if I ever fall!

(Punamias' and Palrechas - Vritant, Manav, Harshad,Punith,Anmol,Unnat, Kapil, Rajan, Dev, Pratiksha, Prachi, Mani, Hani, Rahul, Kratik, Dinky,Dolly, Ravi, Jolly, Prateek, Ankit, Meghna, Raunak, Pari, Alok, Bulbul, Manan, Nirvan, Lakshi, Darsh)

 Your relationship always inspires me Deepak jiju-dolly di,

 To hold on to people and to strong be!

 Different culture, different countries , seven oceans apart we are,

But the bond we share Meadeshia, the hearts are connected and so no distance is too far!

My best life experience wouldn't have been completed without your presence,

A shoutout to all the quality time with yall,the classes, parties, trips and for the dorm Masson!

(US Community- Miss  T, Katherine, Howe Family, Simone, Allison, Elizabeth, Shuncong Gu, Michael,  Meadeshia, Vikas bhaiya, Priti bhabhi, Samik, Yash, Rekha, Vijay, Aswini Melekote Family, Molly Reynolds Family, Rashi, Payge, Chate, Catherine Dunlavey, Kelvin,Esraa, Ali , Mr. Robinson, Ms. Meghan, Erby Mitchell, Isabel, Payge, John, Jodeanne, Jordan, Krystal, and all other people whom I missed out on)

My soul-sister you truly are,

Thank you Princee  for tolerating my talks so bazaar!

For coming as a friend Vikas, staying as a mentor,

Become a Ca soon and throw a treat grander!

Thank you Fabindia teachers for being more than teachers and supporting like friends,

even though living in such a small town you taught us the best, how to keep up with the world trends.

(Parinita Ranpal, Ruchika Ranpal, Rahul sir, Bhaarat sir, Bharti ma'am, Byju Sir, CP Sir, Mukesh Sir, Dinesh Sir, Prerna Ma'am, Negi Sir, KG Sir, Jayita Ma'am, Biswas Sir,Shakti sir, Garima ma'am,Sukanya ma'am, Bhawna ma'am,Ismail Sir)

 Thank you for standing by me Saurabh & Himanshu at the most difficult time,

Next time we are not meeting anywhere else, but Marine lines :P

 You 're an image of calmness, patience and innocence,

Thank you  Prachi for adding a lot to my jodhpur experience.

Even though not directly, we met through connections,

You people became close to me in a matter of second fractions!

(Ram,Megha, Ruchika,Shalini Di,Yash,Abhimanyu,Ankit,Sudhanshu,Arti ma'am,Nirmiti,Jinson,Tanmay,Murli,Payal )

 Thanks Aditi for being my partner in writing,

Reading those endless works of mine, I know they were tiring :P

Living a hostel life, is the best experience of all,

And that too which people like you, For a reunion it calls!

 (My hostel girls- Pratibha, Nidhi, Jaya, Vishakha, Shruti, Litla, Rishu, Megha, Ashita, Sapna, Nikky, Prerna, Pooja, Divya, Priya, Nikita, Richa, Kunjal, Himani, Shefali, Khusbu, Monika, Himanshi, Ashmita)

 A simple thanks, for being in my friends-list,

Even though we haven't shared a lot of time together,

Be it attending coaching in the super morning mist,

When people like you are around, life's always better :)

(BR Jain & Excel gang-Shruti,Palak,Jaya,Shefali,Prachi,Anirudh,Abhishek,Purva,Yogesh,Amit,Prafful,Ruchita,Tarun,Nishi,Rajveer,Sonil,Sukhpreet,Himanshu,Parabjeet,Bhagyshree,Kanisha, Gopal, Rishabh,Nishu,Shyaam,Dilip, Gaurav, Ayushi)

  

Need not to be good, need to be FAIR!

This is not my first blog, but it's the first one of it's kind. It's 1:32am while writing this down. Not sleepy at all, but a lot of restlessness surrounding me! I  belong to a small town but have traveled across and lived in two countries and several cities for my studies and I have met hundreds of people down the road.  What is worth mentioning is, more than 80% of the people (am talking about people around my age) think the same way, the 'it's very common' way, live similar lifestyles, try to copy what others are doing, following the herds, trying to look cool!

When I moved to the city, most of the people, including my friends, and at some point me too, were either busy trying to impress someone or live so cool that people get attracted to you! Rubbish! Whenever I looked out of the window in the evenings, I could see people of my age forming groups at food joints, rustling noises of bikes and bike riders, girls getting dressed up for parties and pubs not single day of a week but all five to seven days! On the other hand, some people had their own fundas. 

Smoking for them is a way to look cool. 

Relationships are no more serious, but for FUN, a way to pass time. C'mon, you couldn't find any other better thing to pass your time with??  

Drinking is nothing more than being a part of some elite happening group which would consider you 'old fashioned' if you don't drink! People show off drinking beer, Vodka, and whatsoever names it has, as a very standard thing to do and declare such things with so much pride as if they have been doing something worth noting! What sense does it make? 

I am definitely not the first one or the last one to go and study in a city or abroad. Tomorrow, when I go home, my parents, my neighbors', my well-wishers will be trying to see the different me, will be tracking down the new things in me that the city has changed, but at the same time they'll also be searching for the old me, the town me.  My bags, my stuff, my language, my habits, my behavior, my actions and reactions will straightaway tell them whether their decision to send me out was correct or not and whether their money for me is being invested on the right direction or not! Yes, THAT'S going to be my report card! But we cannot forget how successful people are now in carrying multi-faces! One when you're with family, the innocent you, the clean you, and the second one, with your colleagues, the sincere you, and the last one, with your friends! Nobody knows which is the artificial one, not even your own self! Incredible!

At times, I feel, what will I get trying to impress those whom I hardly know! People who are with me, who are mine, always be by my side, that’s what I want to live for!  Blessed are those who have got to live even a small period of time with their grandparents. Their blessings, the stories of their hard work, those olden times that they have lived, two generations or more before us teach us a lot. Tomorrow, when I reach home, and start sharing my stories with my parents, grandparents and my siblings, I would be proud to look into their eyes straightaway and tell them that I didn’t do anything which they did not want me to do!

Not trying to be judgmental, but this is all what I personally feel and think! 

Diary of an 'un-common' girl!

Tears roll down thinking about smallest thing am afraid of loosing.

I cry, a lot,

I fear the loss of my loved ones, Yes I feel unsecured, 

Yes i am sensitive. 

I become over emotional when it comes to goodbyes and seeing people suffer. 

Yes I fear what my life will be like without some particular people in it.

I cry to let out of my heart all the fears I have, but unfortunately despite of crying every single day, those feelings of fear, 

anger, 

possessiveness,

are still inside and makes me feel miserable. 

But all this doesn't mean I am weak, 

It means I am strong enough to express myself,

I am strong enough to make things better because I respect my possessions, for they can be lost anytime without your permission. 

All they will ever need is a simple stupid excuse to leave your life, 

leaving you in deep grief, 

with 1000s of unanswered questions.

Yes, I know am over possessive, 

over caring at times, 

over emotional, 

over sensitive and 

over unsecured too. 

But this is the real me. 

Remember, 

no one cries and cares for losses of those things that are not dear to us. 

Crying, 

sharing, 

caring might make me look like weak lean typical girl to you, 

but don't ever mistake it with how strong I am. 

How strong enough I am that I am ready to share all bits of me with you. 

And this is the real me.

The real weak.. The real strong.

Weak enough to be fearful of losing you,

And Strong enough to let you know my biggest flaws and my biggest weaknesses..